WHAT
Is up with this guy? We sit in the tea room (yes, my parents have one) and I am
nervously spinning my cup in my hands. Jonathan sits across from me, studying
me. His quiet, intense aura is unnerving. He cocks his head to the side and
smiles.
“Okay,
what is up with you?” I blurt then backpedal. “Not to be rude, sorry. I just…”
I have no idea what to say. Another new one for me.
He
leans forward. “Why don’t we start with how special you are?”
I
glance at Teagan, seated next to me, and he shifts in his chair. “Just get to
the point, please. Are you the bastard who has been following her?”
Jonathan’s
face darkens and he looks from Teagan back to me. “You’re being followed?”
I
nod. “I can’t get a good look at who it is though. Is my brother right? Are you
the one?”
He
takes a deep breath. “No, but I have a good idea who it is. You wouldn’t
understand yet, but they want something you have.”
I
spread my arms wide. “What don’t I have?” I mutter. “If they’ll leave me alone
they can have it.”
“I
wouldn’t go that far. What they want you should never let them take. It’s part
of you.”
I
am not sure what to make of this. He is the most attractive, strangest man I
have ever met. That’s saying a lot when your father is the governor.
“I
am interested in seeing who this is…but first I have to see something.”
Jonathan raises a finger to his cheek almost imperceptibly twitching it twice.
My
cup slips as my fingers flex, and I startle to see my porcelain cup falling
slow motion to the wood floor. In the next instant, my hand is curled around
the bottom of the cup protectively and I am kneeling. I look slowly at Teagan’s
look of astonishment, then at Jonathan’s knowing smile, and drop the cup like
it has burned me.
“What
the hell was that?” Teagan jumps to his feet. “Are you okay?”
I
feel lightheaded. “Um, I need to sit down.” Blackness envelopes my eyes and I
try to find my chair. I hear scrambling and feel the fumbling of hands as the
world melts away from me.
Another first.
First off... I'm now completely intrigued as to what all will transpire, excited about learning more of this shadow character, Jonathan, & Sabella. I think it's moving a little quickly though. Such as chapter one you get the impression how the Governor is holding a huge party for his daughter, yet you really only meet Sabella, the Governor, brother, and a mystery man. There could be hundreds of more people at the party that could later, possibly come into play. Or in chapter two lead in with her going to work out or describe the place a little more, once I realized she what she was doing I had to go back to see what the conversation was again. Possibly having her chat with herself then deciding to go workout to clear her mind yet her brother still senses something is amiss. I know when I write I tend to rush through it because it's like a movie playing in my mind, but going back through it to slow it down a bit and add in more details will make this a best seller because the curiosity I already have with just these 3 chapters is making me wish I had the whole manuscript to continue with. Great job so far, definite two thumbs up.
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